Yes, I'm referring to it as "NFL Drama". Why, you may ask, did I choose a word that makes most people immediately think of teenage girls? Because, my dear readers, once you dive waist deep into the pile of various issues, that's the umbrella word that really encompasses it all: drama.
Ridiculous, unnecessary drama.
The idea of a bunch of full grown millionaire men sitting around a room stuffed with lawyers could be comical. However, the fact that these pissing contests could very well effect my Sunday afternoons in the fall makes it significantly less funny. In fact, the more I think about it, the more infuriating certain aspects are. Here are three that really raise the blood pressure:
Lockout Coverage
It's going to be increasingly annoying to hear the daily predictions of "experts" that actually have no idea what's going to happen. One guy will convince you that there absolutely is no shot in hell of any sort of football being played for the rest of eternity. The next one will tell you you're an idiot if you don't go ahead and stock up on beer now for the preseason games, because they are positively happening.
This is going to continue every single day until some sort of decision is made. We're going to be abrasively attacked by this former player of that attorney who will give us hope and then crush our spirits. And these goons will get top-billed coverage daily until some sort of decision is made.
My advice? Don't bother getting attached to any one prediction.
Wanna know what will happen? Yeah, so do the experts. No one knows. What's the prediction!? No one really knows. When will we know?! No one knows. Can we count on a season!? No one knows.
Seeing a pattern here?
They're arguing over millions, I'm scraping together lunch money.
Today on the train a homeless blind man yelled at me for not giving him change.
I had to then explain to him that, no, kind sir, I will not be giving you the change that I know you hear jingling around the bottom of my purse, because otherwise I'm not going to have any money with which to purchase a pathetic excuse for lunch from the vending machine between three hour classes.
You can see where the image of a bunch of men in multi-thousand dollar suits bitching about how many millions they're going to respectively take home is somewhat irritating.
Everyone knows that professional athletes are some of the most overpaid men in America. Everyone, it seems, but the athletes themselves.
I understand that it's important for guys that are having their brains bashed in by 400-pound lineman to have enough in the bank for the post-retirement no-guaranteed-health-insurance days. I get it. But come on. Come on. Seriously? And don't even get me started on the owners. Are they aware of how many Americans struggle every day to provide for basic needs? Like, you know, vending machine money.
Chad Ochocinco
For some reason (that I question everyday) I follow Ochocinco on Twitter. Today, he blew up my newsfeed with complaints and conspiracy theories about how the owners had been planning this "forEVER!". Jesus H. Christ, here we go. I don't know if I can take an entire offseason of players assaulting my social media with whiney posts about how mistreated they are.
Guys, you get to play football for a living, be adored by millions of people, and make ridiculously obscene amounts of money. Your life is not that bad.
So, there you have it. Three really obnoxious reasons that the CBA negotiations are obnoxious. Time for everyone to put on their big boy britches, take a step back from the situation, and realize they're all idiots.
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